When Technology is your Only Friend
Talking to it and spending more time with it than friends means you have none.
The 21st century continues to get more and more bizarre because of technology. Advances made in smartphones, wifi, earplugs and speakers means we are spending more time with technology and less time with friends. In a 2023 report, former U.S Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy said about 1 in 2 adults in America reported experiencing loneliness. (This was before COVID.) I bet there is a direct connection to technology.
Here are five examples of how technology has altered our social connections and continues to separate us from one another.
#1: Bluetooth Earpieces
Would you believe me if I told you that the term Bluetooth comes from the nickname of a 10th century European King? Well, King Harald Gormsson (above) was known for uniting the warring tribes of Denmark and Norway in 958 CE. Even with his fame, he wasn’t powerful enough to fix his dead tooth that was a dark bluish color earning him the nickname Bluetooth. Imagine being known throughout history as the guy with the dead tooth. Well, if you don’t know, now you knooowwwww!
Bluetooth headsets made one of their first appearances in the Star Trek series (1966-69) looking like it was stolen from a miniature transformer (below left). The earpiece started gaining usage in the 2000s. Have you ever experienced a stranger looking at you talking only to find out they have an earpiece and they weren’t talking to you? I even sent a smile as a social signal just to feel embarrassed in the end. Today, we accept people walking down the street talking to themselves assuming they have a bluetooth in the ear that we don’t see. (Inconvenient truth: This perception is only applied to those who are wearing work gear. If you are a regular degular person, we assume you are crazy.)
Now, people just wear the tiny wireless earbuds or the oversized headphones that are a knock-off from the 1970s. This reduces awareness and discernment of our surroundings. In other words, we aren’t present.
#2: The Bathroom Selfie
Nothing says boredom and desperation than the infamous bathroom selfie. This photo was one of the first thirsty look at me shots taken by mobile phones shared directly to social media. It features a person looking in the mirror holding their phone oblivious to the space around them. My dislike of this kind of selfie may be due to my perception of how the bathroom is viewed by the sexes. Women see the bathroom as a meeting place to talk and do make-up. So, I guess a social space? Men see the bathroom as a place to do your business, avoid eye contact and get out as quickly as you can.
All humans use the bathroom. I just don’t want to be reminded of it in a picture. So, why not just crop out the toilet?!! It is a reminder that you probably just did #2 and did not wash your hands.
Men rarely take selfies in bathrooms to share. Instead, we use locker rooms giving the impression that we are the future Mr. Universe, a gym rat or an athlete. However, it is not unusual for a man to show before and after selfie photos of his stomach like he is auditioning for a protein supplement infomercial. Taking a selfie with no shirt is a virtue signal to ladies transmitting champagne papi available!
In short, this is thirst validation on display. Don’t obey your thirst. Be humble. Sit down. Trust me.
#3: The Speakerphone
Nothing says walking time bomb like someone walking through a public space screaming into their phone. This person assaults our ears with every lurid detail of their life that should be on TMZ. I feel sorry for the person on the other end. I have rarely seen this done by professionals arguing about their job. They know better. Being fired would be swift and painful. It is always a personal phone call. This is evident by the heavy use of threats and lack of public awareness.
Some people start their day with a croissant and Starbucks coffee. Others start their day with a cuss sandwich. People often move around this person as if they escaped from a psych ward because we think it is contagious.
#4 Wireless Speakers
Shout out to the people on Carnival Cruise who want to introduce everyone to their loud music without asking them through their wireless speaker. I have experienced this phenomenon on public transportation as well. With every type of wireless earbud available, there is that one fool who needs the whole train car to know he is a fan of profane rap music. His scowl alone makes people scared and look the other way.
Some people carry around wireless speakers with their smartphone as if they discovered some kind of life hack. The crazy thing is a good wireless speaker cost more than earbuds. This is just a reviving of the 1980s ghettoblaster. Newsflash: Everybody doesn’t want to turn up and breakdance with you so calm down! It simply annoys people.
For you budding hackers, if a speaker’s Bluetooth is discoverable and not secured with a strong pairing code, connect to it and play this song.
#5 Filters
First, there was airbrush. Then the digital revolution gave us Photoshop. Now, every social media platform has created ways for you to edit your photos. Some filters are just fun and goofy like placing a crown on your head. But others are designed to completely alter people’s beauty perceptions of you—changing the shape and contour of your face, eye color, lip size, skin color, hair color, etc.—is just straight up sorcery. I also thought this was a mental health condition: Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). You may have to exorcise demons from your smartphone or computer after using these filters. Spending more time trying to impress strangers instead of allowing friends to love on you is its own special kind of hell. Since adolescent girls spend a lot of time on social media, this should be concerning. Watch the short video. Nuff said.
Here are some Bible verses that describe friendship since many are forgetting to nurture them these days.
The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Exodus 33:11a
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
A man who has friends must himself be friendly,… Proverbs 18:24a
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend
springs from their heartfelt advice. Proverbs 27:9
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15
People who have friends are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression. They are also less likely to die from chronic diseases. According to Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, who studies how relationships affect the body and brain, people low in social connection (isolation, loneliness, or poor-quality relationships) face an increased risk of premature death. Even the U.S. Surgeon General confirms this. I know this sounds grim but we don’t need the whole country on life support.
I don’t believe any of this technology is inherently evil. But the devil is in the microchips. If you are staring at your phone all the time, you don’t have real friends. So, take the risk and call those who have encouraged you, made you laugh, hugged you and/or remembered your birthday. Technology is a good distractor but not a good friend. Leave Alexia, Siri and the rest of those fake AI humans alone, go outside now and be a blessing.
What other technology would you say isolates us from one another?
It used to be the young guys who would blast their Bluetooth speakers. Now old heads be the worst offenders😂